Singer Jessie J has taken to social media to share tragic details of her “shocking” miscarriage.
The pregnant 33-year-old found out the news while at her third scan, where the doctor told her they could no longer detect a heartbeat.
Jessie was having this baby on her own, as having a child is ‘all [she] ever wanted’.
“Yesterday morning I was laughing with a friend saying ‘seriously though how am I going to get through my gig in LA tomorrow night without telling the whole audience I am pregnant,’“ Jessie wrote to her Instagram followers on Thursday morning.
“By yesterday afternoon I was dreading the thought of getting through the gig without breaking down…
“After going for my 3rd scan and being told there was no longer a heartbeat.
“This morning. I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I may regret posting this. I may not. I actually don’t know,” she continued.
“What I do know is that I want to sing tonight. Not because I’m avoiding the grief or the process, but because I know singing tonight will help me.
“I have done 2 shows in 2 years and my soul needs it. Even more today. I know some people will be thinking she should just cancel it.
“But in this moment I have clarity on one thing,” Jessie explained.
“I started singing when I was young for joy, to fill my soul and self-love therapy, that hasn’t ever changed and I have to process this my way.
“I want to be honest and true and not hide what I’m feeling. I deserve that. I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment. Not just for the audience but for myself and my little baby that did its best.
“I know myself and I know I would talk about it on stage because that’s who I am. So instead of a tearful emotional speech trying to explain my energy. This feels safer,” she wrote.
“I decided to have a baby on my own. Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted and life is short. To get pregnant was a miracle in itself and an experience I will never forget and I know I will have again.
‘I want to be as myself as I can be in this moment… for myself and my little baby that did its best’
“I’m still in shock, the sadness is overwhelming. But I know I am strong, and I know I will be ok.
“I also know millions of women all over the world have felt this pain and way worse. I feel connected to those of you I know and those of you I don’t.
“It’s the loneliest feeling in the world.
“So I will see you tonight LA. I may crack less jokes but my heart will be in the room,” Jessie said.
Back in 2018, during a performance at the Royal Albert Hall, Jessie announced that she could not conceive naturally and explained her “pain and sadness”.
In May 2020, Jessie posted to Instagram “Women are INCREDIBLE! I love you ALL. This is me when I was a baby. One day. I will be a mother”.